You know how some people get writers block? I don’t, I just have too many thoughts and don’t really know how to organize or prioritize them in a way that I or anyone else for that matter could understand. Lots of thoughts and too many feelings. Way too many. And for all the wrong reasons, and wrong things. People always seem to think writers, musicians, and creative people enjoy the torture it takes to create such beautiful things but what they don’t understand is that channeling your feelings into a creative outlet almost forces you to relive incredibly painful, horrible, dark, twisted, memories you don’t want to remember ever. On the other hand though its like scraping out the infection from a wound. Painful but incredibly necessary for one to continue to thrive. “One must live while the other dies.” Or feels like dying for that matter. What Im the most curious about though is are our demons still demons in the light?
The first time we made love was on our 3rd date. It was very romantic. He had candles in his apartment in New York and roses on the bed. I remember feeling like a princess. I still feel like a princess. He treats me with respect and that is the most important thing.”
"I was going insane that night. I didn’t know what the *beep* to do. I had so many questions in my head. What if she hates it? What if she doesn’t want to do it? What if she thinks I’m a jerk? All those questions, but I was wrong. Very wrong" – Johnny
Insan Jaag Utha (1959)